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Another update

My best friend is leaving Denmark to go to Australia for three months. I'm gonna miss her. She's leaving this Tuesday, an I only get to see her Friday. I really hope she has the time of her life. She deserves to get away from Denmark for a little while, and I'm sure it'll be good for her.
I'm sitting in the train on my way home from Alexander. Going back to Copenhagen. I'm gonna see my therapist tomorrow. I can't wait. It's been weeks since we've had a session, just the two of us. I'll be done with therapy soon, oh I'm so nervous. I have to frame and hang stuff from the book on my walls. I don't want to forget all of these great things I've learned. I'm gonna miss my therapist so much. She's the most talented professional I've ever had the honor to talk to. She's just so great.
After therapy tomorrow I'll probably clean up the apartment a little bit, and then I'll have to pack my stuff again and go to my parents. Then I'll say properly goodbye to my friend on Friday, and I'll probably just stay the rest of the weekend at my parents.
Have a nice time you guys.

Nattens dødelighed

Når du hastigt falder hen i drømme
Ligger jeg med sanserne på spids
Din arm om mig og følelser så ømme
Ej en nat før har jeg følt mig så tilfreds
Drømmer jeg monstro allerede
Eller er det sandt at du er til stede

Et glip med øjnene når jeg kysser dig
Dit tag om mig bliver lidt fastere
Intet jeg skal nå før lyset når mig
Ud over havet er der intet der haster
Et hav a drømme drukner os to
Aldrig har jeg haft en drøm så god

Den forsigtige hævelse af dit bryst
Et vemodigt suk mod min nakke
Jeg er sårbar men her findes trøst
Nøgen dog tryg med dig som frakke
Angst at falde hen i øjeblikket denne
Et øjeblik perfekt burde aldrig ende

Et godnatkys summer på mine læber
Stop tiden nu, lad natten vare evigt
Ånder sort ind knytter dine hænder
Fredsommelighed i dit smukke ansigt
Som et pust af sommer sukker du
Har aldrig været mere i live end nu

Jeg kysser nænsomt din bløde mund
Inden disse grønne glasøjne lukker
Kærtegn på læberne så blød og rund
Små ryk mens bevidstheden slukker
Denne smukke tiltalende virkelighed
Morgen blotter nattens dødelighed


af Kiri Rehmeier
den 14. november 2012

Fremtid

Hvad mon fremtiden har med
Mennesker går og bekymre sig
Men dette grunder i at de ikke ved
Fremtiden er nu, fremtiden er dig
Tænk ikke på de dage der kommer
Hvad gør det for dig i denne stund
Forskuds bekymringer i dine lommer
Er det virkelig en klog mands grund

Et splitsekund af fremtiden sker
Når du lukker og atter syner igen
Tænk på det der er lige nu og her
Men sikkert er dog altid en ting
Tiden får en ende, der er ens for alle
Ti ej længere, stå op, tag et skridt
Lad stilheden dø, det er tid til at tale
Vend ryggen til alt det du har smidt

Hvis meningen med livet ikke er at dø
Monstro det så kunne være at leve
Sløv og hvileløs vandring på en øde ø
Så fortæl mig vil De bare eksistere
Slider jer ned for at nå til et sted
I sidste ende er det så det værd
Når man en dag skal sænkes ned
På sidste dagen først at have lært

Synd og skam

Af Kiri Rehmeier
7. november 2012

Confession

I can't feel myself, really can't feel shit,

My throat is dry, is my cigarette even lit?

So empty inside,

Awake all night.

I light another smoke for my loneliness,

My suffering, suffocation and unhappiness.

No energy left,

To stop breathing.

Should I really wait until I'm cracked,

Or die with my pride still attached?

 Like an itch that you can't scratch,

A pain inside, impossible to snatch.

To carry on pretending,

Until the bitter ending.

Throat so sore I just can't swallow,

Crying inside from eyes so hollow.

Save me,

Rescue me.

Seeking satisfaction in a material thing, 

Couldn't care less what people think.

Words are my escaping, digging up the dirt.

But they are too small to describe this hurt.

Hands in the air,

Surrender, don't you dare.

Life is real, but I wish it was fiction,

Finding release through a hurtful addiction.

Feeling so neglected,

Alive but disconnected.

We all have to learn and memorize the lesson,

I did, and you just read my confession.

by Kiri Rehmeier 07/10/12

Forklaring

Jeg er forvirret, og jeg synes det er svært. 

Trods erfaring, har jeg virkelig intet lært?

Vil ikke slippe, men er jeg klar til at holde?

"Hvad-nu-hvis"-tankerne frier sig at udfolde,

Hvad nu hvis jeg måtte dig såre?

Jeg ville ikke kunne bære dine tårer.

Jeg er på bar bund, hvad skal jeg gøre?

Hver af dine tårer ville jeg dog tørre.

Men den må stoppe her, for jeg kan intet fastholde,

Vil stadig beskytte dig med svær og skjolde.

Ja, livet er en kamp og vi må udkæmpe den sammen,

I en hektisk distance er det svært at holde til larmen.

Dit galoperende hjerte må du standse,

Jeg kan intet mærke, og derfor ikke danse.

Jeg er hoppet af følelsernes tog,

Over dem er der blevet lagt et låg.

De er der et øjeblik, men så fjerne i det næste,

Og med dig min egen, vil jeg aldrig lade dem teste.

Jeg ville hjertens gerne, men jeg må atter tøve,

For på dit lille hjerte vil jeg dem aldrig afprøve.

Jeg ville ønske jeg kunne give dig noget mere,

Men jeg har kun ét hjerte, jeg kan ikke give dig flere.

Jeg har nået konklusionen, at jeg intet kan bevare,

Intet kan jeg holde fast, og jeg har prøvet at forklare.

Days Go By

The album cover for "Days Go By"
by The Offspring

I've been a huge offspring fan for years, and I was as excited as a child on Christmas, when they released "Rise and Fall, Race and Grace" back in 2008. The style that is loved by all The Offspring fans hadn't changed, and THANK GOD for that! I loved that album, and it completely lived up to the expectations. Just as excited was I when they released their 2012 album "Days Go By", and I wasn't disappointed!! The true offspring style is still there, and just as they were on "Rise and Fall, Race and Grace", the lyrics had improved too! I loved the remake of "Dirty Magic", and I was mesmerized by ALL the rest of the songs on the album. They punk music these days has gotten weak, and not even real punk-ish, but this punk rock album sure brought it back to life again! The funny songs such as "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" and "Why Don't You Get A Job", that the band has gotten very famous for, and which everyone can sing along to, has also gotten a new one to the family, called "Cruising California (Bumpin' In My Trunk)". It's funny lyrics and the wonderful and happy 

A picture I took during the Offspring concert in Skive
this summer. 

beat makes me sure, that it is gonna make a hit. 

Also the album titled song "Days Go By" is an amazing work of art. I heard the song when it got released, which was short before I was to see The Offspring live at Skive Festival in Denmark. I stood in front of the scene hours before the band was to go on stage, because I wanted that exact spot in front of the scene. And as I had hoped for I got a spot at the very front in the middle. I was only a few feet away from Dexter when he went to the edge of the stage, and to be honest, I had to stop myself from climbing the fence. The concert was amazing, and they truly nailed it. I was screaming along to every song, and when they played songs from "Days Go By", most of the audience didn't really know what to do, but I was screaming as f*ck the entire time! Guys, you might not be 25 anymore, but you still know how to rock it! I'll never stop listening to offspring. 
Me wearing my favorite 
Offspring T-shirt.
If you haven't heard or bought "Days Go By" yet, go do it! You won't regret it. 

Horror movie in my head

I wake up at least ten times every night covered in sweat, barely awake long enough to know, that the cruel reality I just escaped was just a horrible nightmare.

Then I fall back asleep, and usually the previous dream continues from where I awoke. Not missing a second of the horrific events. Almost like pressing the pause button on the remote. Awful. 

I cannot escape the nightmares. These nightmares are not those with monsters and blood every where. These are realistic. 

Car crashes with me in the drivers seat and my friends in the back. 

Being humiliated at school. Getting in fights

Standing in a bar and being verbally attacked by someone you think you might know from somewhere.

Having horrible red itching rashes everywhere, that everyone notices.

These things might not sound bad, but the unpleasant aura and the general horror-like mood in the dream makes it bad. Actually feeling the pain as if it was real.. Very real. Screaming from the pain but no sound is to be heard and suddenly... I can't breathe. So I suffocate.

Lay me down

It's over, I quit.

I'm about as lifeless as it gets

It's not like I'm worth saving anyways.

I don't belong here, I never really wanted to be here.

Why can't somebody else take my place.

Lay me down, I'm so tired.

Empty Inside, Alive and uninspired.

I'm useless, I'm done.

I've written letters to the ones

I've loved so much that it hurts to say goodbye.

I don't wanna die, I just don't don't wanna be alive.

Lay me down, I'm so tired.

Empty Inside, Alive and uninspired.

Lay me down, I'm so tired.

Empty Inside, Alive and uninspired.

Yea, I feel such a feelin' that I never knew

Something I always thought I couldn't do.

But you don't know anything

That makes me feel life

Except making you bleed five times,

In one night.

You know you deserved it.

Acceptance

Am I the one misunderstanding or is there

something wrong with the world today?

Shouldn't I be able to live my life, the way 

I want to live it, without being judged by 

all other human beings passing by me?

I dream of breaking free evey night

Every day I am reminded that those 

beautiful pictures are just in my imagination.

People talk about life, as though there is 

only one way to live it, and those who stands

out are the outcast of our generation.

Why? Why does it have to be so hard just to

be you?

How come we never see people with 

"Free Hugs"-signs anymore? What is so 

wrong with wanting to give a little love?

Why is love a tabu in this country? Respect 

is all we ever talk about. Love is only brought

up in closed forums. What is the matter with 

the adults of our community? Where did

the love go? Maybe that is why evey third

marrige end in divorce. Because they marry 

out of respect in stead of love. Possible.

The divorce rate of gay marriages are much

lower - so why do people disguise gay marridge?

Because they actually know the true meaning 

Of marridge? 

I don't understand the adult generation today.

I just can't see how respect and traditions can

be more important than love and humanity.

Love is not a promise to god? It's a promise to

yourself and your partner. In my opinion

the youth have got it right in this one. They are 

more accepting of love and differences, than 

the older generations. Of course there are 

youngsters that doesn't accept either, and 

adults that do, but compared to each other, 

which is more accepting?