Update #3

I hate being here. To be honest I'm just here because I can't bare getting kicked out again. As if it wasn't bad enough the first time, I sure as hell won't have to go through it again. I've already had enough no-shows... Guess there's still some anxiety I haven't worked through yet. I feel so stupid all the time when I'm here. As soon as I walk into this building it's like I've been muted. I don't have a voice. I don't know any of the answers, no matter the question asked. I become stupid. Every day I'm here I wish I hadn't showed up. It's painful being the new girl... I don't know anyone, and it scares me. The only good thing about this school is that nobody knows me.
I could make it easier on myself by doing my homework, but honestly.. When I get home from school the first thing I do is throw myself on the bed and tell myself it's okay. That showing up was enough. Why is this so easy for everyone else? I don't think I'm being lazy, cause this is not due to laziness. I'm just tired. I am so god damn tired when I get home. So god damn tired.

Blog challenge day 22

"Your academics"

.. Go f*ck yourself!

Blog challenge day 19

"Five items you lust after"

I don't really know how to find items that I lust for. I just chose some of the things I want or wish for.

1. My boyfriend.
He's so amazing. I love spending time with him, and he is just such wonderful company. And yeah, admitted - I lust for him. ;b He's funny (no you're not sweetheart), beautiful, sweet, sexy, loving and caring. I am so in love, and even though we might annoy each other sometimes, there are still so much about him that I love, and that I just can't get enough of. Other guys don't interest me, he's enough man for me. ❤

2. More hours pr. day.
The days are too short, I don't have time for anything! I just need for there to be five more hours in a day, it would solve all my sleeping problems, and I would actually have time for all the things I've got going on. If it was possible, that would be my biggest wish.

3. An apartment.
If I am to start at a school in Horsens after New Years I need to find an apartment there soon, I am getting desperate! I can't afford to commute daily. I just can't find a place that I can afford.. Damn it!

4. Getting into art school or the writers academy.
I really want to get into an education that I actually want and find interesting. I just don't think I have the grades nor the talent for it. I really want to qualify, and I'm gonna do the best I can, I just need to get everything right first. So help me god..

5. A new TV.
My TV is ancient, it is one my dad got cheap from his boss because he bought a new one. It's one of the first flatscreen TVs made, and compared to the newer ones, it is not flat at all. The sound sucks, and on most of my movies, it only plays the background sounds, and not the voices, so that sucks balls. I've wanted it for a long time, but I am just not willing to pay several thousand dkk for a tv, cause I don't use it that much, when I'm alone.

Blog challenge day 21

"How you hope your future will be like"

I hope that I will be happy in my future. I don't nessesarily want to get married and have kids like everyone else. I just want to be happy in the future. The circumstances are not the important for me. I just want to be happy and remember what I have learned. I'd like to get an education though. Then I hope to be able to afford a large apartment and have a dog. And a cat. 

I hope I will stay young in mind, and that I will not be boring at the age of 30. I want to live the way I want to, and not miss out in a thing even if its stupid. I want to experience as much as I can, and I wanna find love that I can have fun with forever. Who knows I might even be with my current boyfriend in 10 years. :b

I hope that I'll be healthy, and that my family is good still. I hope to spend more time with Mette, and never stop seeing with Kristina. I'd like to try everything once and what I like, I'll try again. Adventures. Never turning down an opportunity, kinda like the movie "Yes-Man" only a bit more controlled. I loved that movie. It made his life so much better to say yes, and taking chances. It's like that in real life too. Just be positive. 

Blog challenge day 9

"How important you think education is"

I'M SORRY! I'm so sorry I'm behind on the blog challenge Christmas calendar. Here you have the one from Sunday!

Personally I think education is very important in our society, but that I think is because we've made it matter so much. My parents and grandparents doesn't have the sort of educations that we are getting, because it wasn't needed to get a job back when they were young.
I somehow think it is sad that it has become so important for our future well being. I mean, there should be something for everybody, because not everybody has the same feelings about studying for 5 years just to get a job they want.

I'm pretty relaxed about it, because I've been through so much through business college. I let it become everything, and when I lost it, I broke apart. Since then I've learned that it isn't necessarily as important as we make it seem. There is a chance for the ones who doesn't educate, and they can have good lives too. But society puts so much pressure on the youth, that we feel like we have to take a long education, even though many drop out sooner or later because it's hard. It's good to learn, but there are so much more to learn than what it says in the books. I think it is good to learn the basics, as long as you don't forget to live, because the things you learn from living life is just as important as what you can read your way to, if not more.