Blog challenge day 23

And I'm back on the blog challenge again. Hope you've all had a nice beginning of 2013.

"Something that you miss"

If there is a thing I miss, it is the time
I spend having road-trips with Mette,
where we sang Lady Gaga songs out
loud in my car, on the way to
Kristina's apartment. Not so much the
stuff we did in the apartment, but the
fact that we spend so much time together.
We had so much fun and it as so lovely.
I love those girls so much, and I really
miss spending time with them.

Blog challenge day 17

"Something that you're proud of"

If there is something that I'm proud of, it's my girls. Kristina and Mette, we've been close friends for a long time, and I love them so dearly. We've been through so much together, and I couldn't be more proud, than when I see how far they've come! Trust me, I've seen them both at their lowest and I've been there through it all, and I feel like I've watched flowers bloom after a long long winter. I've seen two people go from surviving to living, and if that isn't worth being proud of, I can't think of anything that is. 

These girls are the greatest people I've ever met. I've never met such honest, loving, supportive people as them, and they have the biggest hearts. Hearts so large to stay by my side while I was in the same place, even though they had their own problems, they were there for me - all the way. 

It's been a hell of a ride, but I've seen these two women transform. It's been like watching night turn into day, looking at them is like looking at the most beautiful sunrise. I've held them while they cried, I've listed when they opened their hearts, and I've found friends for life. I am so glad we took this journey together, cause I don't think any of us could have made it on our own. This leaves me without a doubt to the conclusion, that I am never gonna give up on the friendship that I have with them. I am gonna try, for the rest of my life, to repay these two, and help them as much as I can - Because they helped me save myself. (Oh god I'm crying and getting really emotional here..)

I am so proud. Of all of us. We made it girls. We made it out of the darkness. And together we are greater. ❤

Another update

My best friend is leaving Denmark to go to Australia for three months. I'm gonna miss her. She's leaving this Tuesday, an I only get to see her Friday. I really hope she has the time of her life. She deserves to get away from Denmark for a little while, and I'm sure it'll be good for her.
I'm sitting in the train on my way home from Alexander. Going back to Copenhagen. I'm gonna see my therapist tomorrow. I can't wait. It's been weeks since we've had a session, just the two of us. I'll be done with therapy soon, oh I'm so nervous. I have to frame and hang stuff from the book on my walls. I don't want to forget all of these great things I've learned. I'm gonna miss my therapist so much. She's the most talented professional I've ever had the honor to talk to. She's just so great.
After therapy tomorrow I'll probably clean up the apartment a little bit, and then I'll have to pack my stuff again and go to my parents. Then I'll say properly goodbye to my friend on Friday, and I'll probably just stay the rest of the weekend at my parents.
Have a nice time you guys.

Hot Cakes

At the moment I am listening to the 2012 album by The Darkness called "Hot Cakes". I want to know their new songs, because they are the warm-up band for Lady GaGa, whom I'm going to see this sunday in Parken, Copenhagen! I can't wait! Lady GaGa is my fucking favorite!!! And The Darkness are awesome :b
It has been easier for me to think that I was to see The Darkness, cause seeing Lady GaGa live is just so HUGE for me! I haven't really been able to believe it, because I bought the tickets in.. April or something? It has just been too huge to believe, but now that it's come so close, it's become so real. I'm so excited!
I've bought a new outfit, and this is it:

A long white top, (long enough to cover my ass) going on top of a pair of thights with holes in them, and a short T-shirt with the text "Reckless Trouble Maker" written on it. I think it's cool, and I figured it would fit to my make up, and I feel SO DRESSED TO BALL in it!! I SO HOPE MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS AND I GET INTO THE MONSTER PIT!!!

I also planned my make-up, I've only done it once before, so I hope I can pull it off again. I'm doing the skeletal-face make-up from the Lady GaGa "Born This Way"-musicvideo. In the picture below I've only done half of my face, but I'm gonna make it full-face for the Born This Way Ball! And then I'm gonna make my hair BIG.

I'm just so excited! We're gonna be there from the early morning, and I think we all got our hopes up for the Monster Pit. The chance is there! I'll probably have to do my make up in front of Parken, because it's gonna take HOURS to get it just perfect! I can't wait to see GaGa! She's my fucking ICON! ❤❤❤

Tomorrow my two best friends are coming to my place, and we're gonna go out tomorrow night. I've missed being with them SO MUCH!!! It's been 6 months since we've been together all three! I've missed it like crazy and I can't wait. Love them so ❤ See you guys soon!

Alt det hun er

Hun er som en sommer dag, hvor 

kliche det end lyder. Varm og 

nærmes ulidelig dejlig. Jeg får en 

lidenskabelig lyst, til at tage tøjet af, 

og mærke hendes varme på min 

nøgne hud. 

Hun er som en vase, med sine 

perfekte kurver. Bløde runde former, 

men stadig tynd og skrøbelig. Tab 

hende ikke, for hun kan knuses i 

tusind stykker, som glas. En 

skrøbelig skønhed.

Hun er som en stjerneklar december 

nat. Hendes øjne funkler, mens hvid 

røg undslipper hendes varme mund. 

Kinderne bliver så smukt røde. Hvad 

mon hun gemmer på, bag de lange 

sorte skygger? 

Hun er som en rose, så betagende i al 

sin fryd. Et forvirrende mønster, 

men så hypnotiserende smuk og sød. 

På trods af kulden og livets realitet, 

vil hun altid atter genopstå, selvom 

hun falmer.

Hun er som en aftenkjole, så fin at 

man ikke kan undgå, at vende sig og 

tage et ekstra kig. Udenpå er hun 

bedårende, dog kan det skønne ydre 

ikke måle sig med skønheden, der er 

inden under.

Hun er som et kys, så umådelig 

kærlig mod mine læber. Hun vækker 

følelser i mig, der giver mig årsag. Et 

kærtegn der giver lykke og mening til 

livet. Jeg smelter indeni, når hun siger

 "kys mig".

Hun er som en tåre, så ren og blid 

mod min kind. Et udtryk for de 

dybeste følelser, der fylder mit 

blødende hjerte. Så vemodig, så 

hvorfor leve? Fordi jeg har hende, 

aller dybest inde.

Af Kiri Rehmeier

Dedikeret til mit livs lys, min eneste sande kærlighed.

Wonderful Friday

Tomorrow is Friday, and I am going to see my wife!! I really really can't wait, I've missed her SO much, and I just can't wait to run into her arms, hug her till she feels small and protected, and then kiss her lips ❤ I feel so empty without her. Even the times where it's only been a week or so since we've seen each other, then I still miss her, and is filled with this relieved feeling of happiness whenever I see her before my eyes. She really does light up my world. Can't thank her enough for being in my life, and making it worth living ❤

Today I went to see my shrink. She's so sweet and I just feel like she understands me. We're on the same level and we basically just click. Looking forward to see her again on Thursday.

for her

Because you're the only one for me.

Love

List of things I love:

• Kristina
• Mette
• Nathalie
• my sisters
• Lucifer
• my parents
• cigarettes
• booze
• twitter
• tumblr
• apple products
• music
• drawing
• candles
• linkin park
• volbeat
• sunshine
• strawberries
• milk
• coffee
• nailpolish
• concerts
• shopping
• baresso
• make up
• stilettos
• duvets and pillows
• sleeping
• prescription drugs
• noodles
• texting
• sex
• flirting
• getting wasted
• laughing really hard
• talking on the phone for hours
• summer
• dogs
• cats
• all animals
• leather jackets
• falling asleep to music
• staying up late
• watching movies
• large sweatshirts and hoodies
• when somebody says they love me
• travelling
• cuddling
• having coffee with my parents
• singing with Kristina and Mette in my car
• mine and Mette's freakshow
• watching Kristina sleep
• my old classmates
• dancing
• lady gaga
• crying
• IKEA
• pulling my own hair
• being hugged from behind
• holding hands
• being in love when it is returned the same
• breaking stuff with a bat
• kissing
• editing photographs
• my bed
• my car
• bags
• being there for people
• blonde baby boys with blue eyes
• having a beer and a cigarette
• giving people gifts
• surprising others
• writing poems
• singing
• screaming
• Freaking out on people
• photographing
• walking in the city in the middle of the night
• crisps
• chocolate
• rain
• festivals
• dancing and lip-syncing in front of the mirror
• complimenting people
• when people ask me to dance
• when my girlfriends actually wants to dance with me at parties or at clubs
• putting on nail polish with Mette and Kristina
• getting drunk with my wife - 2 man party on the floor
• nathalie's long island ice teas
• reuniting with people I haven't seen for a long time
• tattoos
• coloring hair with my wife
• piercings
• piercing my friends
• buying stuff on the internet
• singing along to loud music
• videos where people fall or get hurt
• cleaning
• going on dates
• telling people how much I love them
• the relationship I have with my bigsister

Fuckingshitfuckcrapshitfuckhelpcrapshitfuckfuckingfuck

I have so many things going through my head. I don't know how to get them out. Most of them are so dark, that I can't tell anyone. It's like.. I'd scare people. I do not wish to scare people, so I just keep all this shit to myself. It's either that, or worrying people, and I don't wanna be a burden.
I feel like. Theres only one person in the world who truly understands, and I can't be with her. She's busy and so far away.. And I feel like I'm dying without her. I hate this.
I'm useless. I can't do anything right. I'm gonna get kicked out of school soon, so I won't even have achieved anything during these three years of struggle. I just can't take it anymore!!

Letter Challenge Day 10

A letter to a person you don't talk to as much as you'd like to.

Dear Rebekka

We haven't seen each other in a long time now. We have seen each other and said hello a couple of time, but we haven't really been together for years. When we were kids we used to see each other every weekend. We were best friends for eleven years. Then our contact kind of slipped away.
I continued the contact with your sister Trine, but when I was 15, and you were 13, the age-difference got too hard to ignore I guess. We simply lost stuff to talk about..

I look at you now, and I know that right now we'd have plenty of stuff to talk about. The problem is that we don't. You have other friends now, and so do I. My mum says that it'll come back. She says that real friends just don't disappear. That she and her best friend can go years without talking, but then when they do, it's like they never were apart. I hope that's what'll happen in our case.

I'd like to say that I love you, but I can't. It's been so many years, and it's like I don't know you anymore. I don't know if I love you. I don't know the person you've grown up to be.
But one thing I can say with honesty; I miss you. I miss our friendship, and I miss spending time with you. I hope you're good. I hope you'll get a good start on your education.

Dearest wishes of luck in the future
Kiri Rehmeier

Letter Challenge Day 1

A letter to your best friend

Dear Casper

The concept; "best friends" are being misused if you ask me. Some people think that a best friend is the best friend that you have - rather it's a very good friendship or just a mediocre one. The best one out of the many. The best one out of all the 538 Facebook friends. I used to think so too. That the guy friend I was with the most, would have the title as my best friend.

Today I know better. Now I know what a best friend really is. Now I know the true meaning of the concept.
A best friend is that one person to whom you can say everything and anything to. The one friend with whom you can do everything, but also do nothing with.
Yeah that's all good right? But there's more. This is where people get the wrong idea, cause this is where some people cannot understand. A true best friend is the person you will travel to the end of the world after. The one person that you would rent a rowboat and sail across the atlantic to get to. The person that drives for two hours to your house on a Tuesday night, just to be with you when your ass is on fire. The one person you would die for. The person you care so much about, that you would even leave the love of your life. The love is so unconditional that it is hard for some to understand. But my conclusion is that the people thinking this is to over do it, has never had a friendship as ours themselves.
Our friendship is out of this world. It is too different for people to understand. I think that's why people keep thinking we're a couple. Our society is not made for friendships like ours. People do not think it is possible to have such a close relation to someone that you're not in a relationship with.
But honestly... I don't give a fuck. I don't care what people think. So what if our friendship scares men away from me - that doesn't matter. Cause really, I would never go out with a man if he wasn't being accepting about our friendship.
Our friendship is everything to me. I could never leave you. Without you I cannot live.

I have told you many times.. I've said it to your face. I've texted it. I've said it on the phone. I've written it on paper. Posted it on Facebook. I've written it on my Twitter. I've laughed it. I've screamed it. I've yelled it. I've said it randomly. I told everyone. I told the world. I've said it in many languages. I've cried it. I've screamed it in tears... But now I'm gonna say it again:
- I love you more than anything. Without you my life wouldn't be worth living.

Truly and sincerely yours
Kiri Rehmeier

Spørgsmål

Hvis du skulle undskylde til en person hvem skulle det så være (mindst 1 person) .. og hvem er du mest skuffet over (mindst 1 person)

Trine.. Jeg vil gerne undskylde for, at jeg ikke kan være den veninde, du har brug for. Jeg er ked af, at jeg tænker på at hjælpe mig selv, når jeg burde tænke på dig frem for alt. Jeg er fandeme ked af, at det skulle ende sådan her.

Den person jeg er mest skuffet over, må jeg indrømme, at der er mig selv. Jeg har fejlet alt for groft i løbet af de sidste par år, og det ville være en kæmpeløgn hvis jeg sagde, at jeg ikke skammer mig over mig selv. Jeg tror jeg har gjort alt forkert, som der overhovedet er menneskeligt muligt, og jeg er bestemt skuffet over mig selv.

Spørgsmål fra formspring.me/KiriRehmeier

Ask me anything

Pain without love

It's 02.15 AM

I'm still awake, and I am still numb. I have been numb for the last 20 hours.

I do not feel a thing. I think of everything that happened, and jet I still feel noting. Nothing at all.

A lot happened. Way too much. Good way to start my new year though - To get my head filled up with crap, bad words and more pain is always lovely.

In case you did not notice, that was irony.

I should be in my bed. Sleeping. I do not feel like it. I feel like.. Well, what the hell do I want? .... Nothing I guess. I feel like nothing. I guess you have to feel SOMETHING, to feel like doing something.

I want nothing. I don't wanna see nobody. I don't wanna hear anything.. not even music right now. I don't even wanna listen to the silence, but that is all that's left, when I do not want to listen to anything.

Silence..

Guess that's good right? Right.. I bet nobody in the country started this new year at bad as I did. I felt it all. Felt it burning in my chest. Felt the guilt, the pain, the suffer, the violence I put on other people. People I love. Just being here make others suffer. And not just ONE. Cause more happened that night. More. Like it wasn't enough, I had to be torn apart inside from other things too.

And now... I can't tell anyone. I can't tell anybody about my feelings, my experiences from that night, my broken heart and my broken soul. Nobody. Really. You'd think I always would have someone to talk to, but right now, I have not.

I figured.. that since I have no happiness in my life at all, my share of the world happiness must have gone to someone else. Well, at least that's what I hope. Cause just because I can't be happy, doesn't mean others can't get that little extra happiness, that should have gone to me.

You don't get it. You simply do not get it. You think you know it all, but you know nothing. Just get it.

Blog challenge day 5

Et billede af dig og din nærmeste ven

Min bedste ven Casper og jeg.

Jeg elsker ham.

Blog challenge day 3

.··..··.

`·.

Min bedste ven ..

Jamen altså,

min bedste ven hedder Casper Nygaard Petersen. Han er 18 år. Faktisk lige præcis 4 måneder yngre end jeg selv. Han er omkring de 183 cm høj, og tynd som et siv. Han er et af de skønneste mennesker i verden. En venskab som vores tror jeg ikke er særlig udbredt. Vi har et forhold næsten som bror og søster. Dog vil jeg nærmere sige at vi har et kærlighedsforhold på et højere plan. Selvom jeg er single, har jeg stadig en mand i mit liv - ud over min far selvfølgelig :) ..

Han er en fyr der ser realistisk på tingene. Typen der ser en rigtig ven som en rigtig ven, og en bekendt som en person der ikke er tæt på.

Men for mig.. Så er han et af de mennesker der betyder aller mest. Jeg elsker ham, og jeg ville ikke være foruden ham - nogensinde. Jeg har flere personer jeg kan komme til når alting ramler. Casper er den eneste der kommer til mig, når det hele ramler for mig. Når jeg siger "Jeg har brug for dig lige nu" svarer han; "I'm on my way." Det er han den eneste der gør. Han trøster mig når jeg er ked af det. Ligger med mig når jeg har ondt. Hopper lalleglad rundt med mig når jeg har det godt. Skråler med på åndssvage sange med mig når vi er fulde. Han er den bedste ven jeg nogensinde har haft. Han ser mig for alle de Kiri'er jeg er. Han er en af de få der kender alle sider af mig.

Jeg kan klare alt.. Når bare jeg har Casper.

Vi er som et gammelt ægtepar ind imellem. Og jeg elsker det. Han er den mand jeg har brug for. Den der ved hvornår han skal kæmpe for sin sag, og hvornår han bare skal sige "javel skat". Casper.. han kender mig. <3

Update

I dag skal jeg hjem til konen. Glæder mig. Jeg har det godt nok. Bare ret sulten og i smøg underskud.

Jeg er bare ret træt.. Magter ikke rigtig at sidde i tog og bus i fem timer -.-

Hvad man dog ikke vil gøre for dem man elsker. Og på mandag skal jeg sidde i fly 4 timer, for at komme ned til min kæreste. Glæder mig så meget til at kysse og holde om ham igen <3 Jeg smider mine ting og springer på ham. <3 Jeg har sådan manglet ham, mens han har været væk. Tænk hvis jeg skulle vente til august med at se ham, som oprindeligt var planen? No way, det ville jeg ikke kunne klare. Jeg har passe det små hele formiddagen. Det er fint nok. Så blev billetten tjent ind. Så må jeg stjæle fra kortet til turen hjem. Hvorfor bor jeg ikke i sønderjylland som alle dem jeg elsker ih og åh så højt? Piv. Jeg ville så gerne være tættere på dem. Væk fra midtjylland og alle de forbistrede mennesker som bor her.

Brok brok brok. Klage klage klage.

Ready for beach party? No...

Tweet

Onsdag begynder BP for real, men tirsdag skal jeg der ud og sætte telt op og sådan, så der begynder det egentlig for mig. Er slet ikke klar til det. Har værken købt sprut eller mad eller pakket, eller fundet ud af noget med musik. Jeg er træt, og kommer først hjem imorgen. Tirsdag skal jeg også op til engelsk skriftlig årsprøve fra 09.00 til 12.00 Øv! Men det er okay. Min bedste ven christian kommer og henter mig når prøven er slut, og så sætter vi telt op sammen. Glæder mig til at være sammen med ham og amalie igen. Og danni, det er jo tusind år siden snart. Glæder mig til at fyre den af i en 4-dage lang brandert. :D