Lay me down

It's over, I quit.

I'm about as lifeless as it gets

It's not like I'm worth saving anyways.

I don't belong here, I never really wanted to be here.

Why can't somebody else take my place.

Lay me down, I'm so tired.

Empty Inside, Alive and uninspired.

I'm useless, I'm done.

I've written letters to the ones

I've loved so much that it hurts to say goodbye.

I don't wanna die, I just don't don't wanna be alive.

Lay me down, I'm so tired.

Empty Inside, Alive and uninspired.

Lay me down, I'm so tired.

Empty Inside, Alive and uninspired.

Yea, I feel such a feelin' that I never knew

Something I always thought I couldn't do.

But you don't know anything

That makes me feel life

Except making you bleed five times,

In one night.

You know you deserved it.

Unpredictable

There is a song that reminds me of you 

I cannot help but sing along with the radio 

We are both in hell you and I 

Burning in the flames of pain 

And I wonder if we will all turn to ashes 

But they say there is no gain without the pain

Oh I feel for you my love, I feel 
You make me feel something 
Alive you might even say 
Like an awakening from the hell I am in 
And I wonder when you are gonna leave next 
Fly away and let me return to death
 










I feel like a zombie, like a living dead 
Cannot escape the fact that I can't feel you 
Just stretch my arms and reach you 
It's a dream I cannot deny is real at night 
I wish that sometimes I would cross your mind 
But even that is a hope I have to let die
 








There is a song that reminds me of you 
Whenever it plays a fire starts in my heart 
I could never tell you how I long for your kiss 
Cause your reaction I cannot predict 
I am so scared, so scared I might lose you 
Like the things we lost in the fire
 





The fire inside my heart














by Kiri Rehmeier ©
2011-10-14

Letter Challenge Day 8

A letter to your favorite internet friend

Dear Lulle

I've known you for years, but never actually met you. You live in the opposite end of the country, but since I was in Copenhagen a few weeks ago, and didn't meet you while I was there - I regret that! I want to meet you so much really. I think you're an awesome person, and though we've never met, we know each other. We've read each others diaries for years now. I used to write every day, but now I never write anymore. I don't feel like it helps me anymore. But I still read yours and the others.
I often think of you and the others in the group. A lot of people, actually most the people who reads my blog, doesn't know from where we know each other, so I'm gonna explain.
About five years ago I joined a group on Arto for girls suffering from an eating disorder. From that group I now have many good friends. Most of us has come really really far, and some are even well today. This letter is for one of the girls from the group, but somehow you might say it's for everyone in the group. Anyone who ever commented on my diary. In this group we each had a diary in which we could write whatever we wanted. If I read the first couple of pages in my diary, I can clearly see that it's been years since I wrote it. Back then we wrote about food, disordered thoughts, weight and how much we hated our bodies. Now it's more of a real diary, where we write about life and our problems. I haven't really written in mine the last year.. I don't really feel like I need it anymore I guess..?

But EDs .. I love you. All of you. You've helped me so much. I don't know where I would have been if I hadn't had you to lean on at tough times. Some would have though the group was bad for us, but I really know we did the right thing. Most of us recovered a lot from what we was back then. You are so cool guys. The toughest girls I know. This letter is for you. Thank you so much - for everything.

Yours forever faithfully
Kiri Rehmeier

Better than before

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Jeg har det bedre. Der er sket små ting, som har fået mig til at føle mig mere værdsat. Bare et par småting har gjort en kæmpe forskel.. Jeg føler mig mere lagt mærke til og vigtig. Det er awsome :i Jeg er glad for at tingene er gået sådan som de er, selvom det gjorde ondt og var hårdt. Min kamp er langt fra ovre, men jeg føler jeg har fået en god start på den. Jeg føler mig mere værd, og det føles fedt. Helt ærligt, at se på sig selv og kunne tænke; "hey.. Enhver fyr ville være lykkelig for at have mig", selvfølgelig vil jeg ikke have en hvilken som helst fyr - jeg har min kæreste, og ham elsker jeg, og han er den eneste fyr jeg behøver. Men det er vildt fedt at mærke en selvtillid som aldrig før. At jeg har et sundt selvværd. Dog er der stadig småting som kan få mig til at blive ret øv agtig. Jeg fik af vide at jeg har en afskrækkende attitude. Ret træls ting at få af vide. Nå, sådan er jeg nu bare, og jeg har det fint med sådan som jeg er nu :)