Lay me down

It's over, I quit.

I'm about as lifeless as it gets

It's not like I'm worth saving anyways.

I don't belong here, I never really wanted to be here.

Why can't somebody else take my place.

Lay me down, I'm so tired.

Empty Inside, Alive and uninspired.

I'm useless, I'm done.

I've written letters to the ones

I've loved so much that it hurts to say goodbye.

I don't wanna die, I just don't don't wanna be alive.

Lay me down, I'm so tired.

Empty Inside, Alive and uninspired.

Lay me down, I'm so tired.

Empty Inside, Alive and uninspired.

Yea, I feel such a feelin' that I never knew

Something I always thought I couldn't do.

But you don't know anything

That makes me feel life

Except making you bleed five times,

In one night.

You know you deserved it.

Acceptance

Am I the one misunderstanding or is there

something wrong with the world today?

Shouldn't I be able to live my life, the way 

I want to live it, without being judged by 

all other human beings passing by me?

I dream of breaking free evey night

Every day I am reminded that those 

beautiful pictures are just in my imagination.

People talk about life, as though there is 

only one way to live it, and those who stands

out are the outcast of our generation.

Why? Why does it have to be so hard just to

be you?

How come we never see people with 

"Free Hugs"-signs anymore? What is so 

wrong with wanting to give a little love?

Why is love a tabu in this country? Respect 

is all we ever talk about. Love is only brought

up in closed forums. What is the matter with 

the adults of our community? Where did

the love go? Maybe that is why evey third

marrige end in divorce. Because they marry 

out of respect in stead of love. Possible.

The divorce rate of gay marriages are much

lower - so why do people disguise gay marridge?

Because they actually know the true meaning 

Of marridge? 

I don't understand the adult generation today.

I just can't see how respect and traditions can

be more important than love and humanity.

Love is not a promise to god? It's a promise to

yourself and your partner. In my opinion

the youth have got it right in this one. They are 

more accepting of love and differences, than 

the older generations. Of course there are 

youngsters that doesn't accept either, and 

adults that do, but compared to each other, 

which is more accepting?

Et sølle liv

Lille du
Der er glasskår i min seng
en skitseblok fyldt med lidende mennesker
for hver tåre indeni der falder
tænder jeg en ny cigaret
et halvtomt, et halvkoldt krus kaffe
med en smøg i min flab
står jeg midt i dødens gab

sidder i min ensomhed, min smerte og min tomhed
de ved at der er noget, men de ser dig ikke
de ved ik' hvem du er, men du vil mine vinger stikke
Hvem er jeg? Hvad er jeg? -engel, uheld, ussel
hvordan kan det være at i ser mig som en trussel?

Hvad fanden skal jeg sige når der ingen andre er?
selvmedlidenhed - hvad skal jeg dog med det?
men sprut og nikotin det skal fanme bare mixes
for farmand han har indset at det her det ik' ka' fixes.


(Denne skitse er over et år gammel)

Hot Cakes

At the moment I am listening to the 2012 album by The Darkness called "Hot Cakes". I want to know their new songs, because they are the warm-up band for Lady GaGa, whom I'm going to see this sunday in Parken, Copenhagen! I can't wait! Lady GaGa is my fucking favorite!!! And The Darkness are awesome :b
It has been easier for me to think that I was to see The Darkness, cause seeing Lady GaGa live is just so HUGE for me! I haven't really been able to believe it, because I bought the tickets in.. April or something? It has just been too huge to believe, but now that it's come so close, it's become so real. I'm so excited!
I've bought a new outfit, and this is it:

A long white top, (long enough to cover my ass) going on top of a pair of thights with holes in them, and a short T-shirt with the text "Reckless Trouble Maker" written on it. I think it's cool, and I figured it would fit to my make up, and I feel SO DRESSED TO BALL in it!! I SO HOPE MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS AND I GET INTO THE MONSTER PIT!!!

I also planned my make-up, I've only done it once before, so I hope I can pull it off again. I'm doing the skeletal-face make-up from the Lady GaGa "Born This Way"-musicvideo. In the picture below I've only done half of my face, but I'm gonna make it full-face for the Born This Way Ball! And then I'm gonna make my hair BIG.

I'm just so excited! We're gonna be there from the early morning, and I think we all got our hopes up for the Monster Pit. The chance is there! I'll probably have to do my make up in front of Parken, because it's gonna take HOURS to get it just perfect! I can't wait to see GaGa! She's my fucking ICON! ❤❤❤

Tomorrow my two best friends are coming to my place, and we're gonna go out tomorrow night. I've missed being with them SO MUCH!!! It's been 6 months since we've been together all three! I've missed it like crazy and I can't wait. Love them so ❤ See you guys soon!

Alt det hun er

Hun er som en sommer dag, hvor 

kliche det end lyder. Varm og 

nærmes ulidelig dejlig. Jeg får en 

lidenskabelig lyst, til at tage tøjet af, 

og mærke hendes varme på min 

nøgne hud. 

Hun er som en vase, med sine 

perfekte kurver. Bløde runde former, 

men stadig tynd og skrøbelig. Tab 

hende ikke, for hun kan knuses i 

tusind stykker, som glas. En 

skrøbelig skønhed.

Hun er som en stjerneklar december 

nat. Hendes øjne funkler, mens hvid 

røg undslipper hendes varme mund. 

Kinderne bliver så smukt røde. Hvad 

mon hun gemmer på, bag de lange 

sorte skygger? 

Hun er som en rose, så betagende i al 

sin fryd. Et forvirrende mønster, 

men så hypnotiserende smuk og sød. 

På trods af kulden og livets realitet, 

vil hun altid atter genopstå, selvom 

hun falmer.

Hun er som en aftenkjole, så fin at 

man ikke kan undgå, at vende sig og 

tage et ekstra kig. Udenpå er hun 

bedårende, dog kan det skønne ydre 

ikke måle sig med skønheden, der er 

inden under.

Hun er som et kys, så umådelig 

kærlig mod mine læber. Hun vækker 

følelser i mig, der giver mig årsag. Et 

kærtegn der giver lykke og mening til 

livet. Jeg smelter indeni, når hun siger

 "kys mig".

Hun er som en tåre, så ren og blid 

mod min kind. Et udtryk for de 

dybeste følelser, der fylder mit 

blødende hjerte. Så vemodig, så 

hvorfor leve? Fordi jeg har hende, 

aller dybest inde.

Af Kiri Rehmeier

Dedikeret til mit livs lys, min eneste sande kærlighed.

Wonderful Friday

Tomorrow is Friday, and I am going to see my wife!! I really really can't wait, I've missed her SO much, and I just can't wait to run into her arms, hug her till she feels small and protected, and then kiss her lips ❤ I feel so empty without her. Even the times where it's only been a week or so since we've seen each other, then I still miss her, and is filled with this relieved feeling of happiness whenever I see her before my eyes. She really does light up my world. Can't thank her enough for being in my life, and making it worth living ❤

Today I went to see my shrink. She's so sweet and I just feel like she understands me. We're on the same level and we basically just click. Looking forward to see her again on Thursday.

Søvnløshed

Mit hovede føles proppet. Tankerne

hober sig op, og danner et virvar af 

bekymringer. Jeg er altid bekymret. 

Der er altid ét eller andet, der går mig 

på. Det stopper aldrig. Det er som om 

jeg ikke kan lade være. Nærmest 

umuligt at styre dem andre veje.

Mine tanker racer altid rundt, og der 

er faktisk aldrig ro i mit hovede. Ofte 

kan for mange bekymringer blandet 

med uoverskuelighed, resultere i panik. 

Panisk angst der driver mig helt der ud, 

hvor vandet er så dybt, at man ikke 

længere kan ane bunden under sig. 

Helt der ud ,hvor distancen er så 

lang, at man ikke længere kan skue 

land i horisonten. Derude hvor det blå 

hav er så dybt, at det blå bliver sort. 

Jeg kan ikke bunde. Bunden er ikke 

eksisterende, og jeg er ikke længere i 

stand til, at holde mig selv flydende. 

Armenes febrilske fægten i kampen 

for at holde hovedet over vand 

svigter, og jeg synker - dybere og 

dybere. Angsten er for længst 

grebet ind, og har taget på mig. Det 

nytter ikke noget at kæmpe imod, det 

er allerede for sent, at styre den vej. 

Så jeg gør det eneste der er tilbage 

at gøre. Lader mig synke endnu 

dybere. Svigter bevidstheden mon 

før jeg når at ramme bunden? Jeg 

synker - langsomt. Da jeg løber tør 

for luft, og som jeg tvinges til at tage 

en indånding af det tunge sorte hav

Vågner jeg.

Af Kiri Rehmeier / natten til den 18. august 2012

Nattetanker

Ligger i mørket. Det eneste der bryder 

tavsheden er lyden af regnvåde veje, 

mens bilerne passerer forbi mit vindue. 

Søvnløsheden er dræbende. Selvom 

søvnen er tiltrængt, er den umulig at 

opnå netop denne nat - Denne nat, 

så vel som mange andre nætter. 

Beslutter mig for, at en cigaret mere 

ikke ville skade. Disse nattetimer er 

alligevel gået til spilde på nyttesløs 

forsøgen på at opnå søvnen, der 

efterhånden virker så fjern som paradis. 

Lige så uopnåelig. Overvejer mange 

gange at droppe søvnen for denne nat. 

Bare forblive vågen. Da jeg drejer hjulet 

på lighteren, lyses rummet op. Ikke meget, 

men nok til at få mig til at knibe øjnene 

sammen og blive blændet som en muldvarp. 

Nu er kun den røde glød synlig i det sorte. 

På trods af, at der intet er at se, har jeg

fortsat mine øjne åbne. De grønne.

Jeg har aldrig brudt mig om stilhed, så 

byens liv er betryggende i den sorte nat.

Den fortsatte lyd af biler der gennemtrænger 

små samlinger af regnvand på asfalten. 

Hvad mon de skal? De som kører rundt 

klokken halv fem om morgenen.

Can't find my way home

I'm on the train on my way home to Copenhagen. I have just entered the last hour of a 5,5 hour long train ride. I'm not really tired.. Just bored.
I really don't want to go home to my basement. Living in the basement is fine. I'm just so isolated, and I'm doing it to myself. Because I don't want to be upstairs. I don't like it. I feel cold and uncomfortable. But the deal is... I don't know where I would rather be. No place feels like home. It haunts me every day. The feeling of.. Being misplaced. Not being home. Not even knowing where home is anymore. Just sad. Sick of yourself. Sick of the person I am.

for her

Because you're the only one for me.