I have trouble sleeping. I don't understand how I can possibly turn night into day. Mum says it's alway been like that.
I went to see my grandma today. She's 90 years old. She's usually talking about how bad she wants to die. She's depressive - like me, but mostly in the winter. She's too old to do stuff, and she has been alone since grandpa died, ten years ago.
But today she was different. She laughed and really enjoyed our company.
She was especially glad to see me. She hasn't seen me since Christmas. And before that it was more than a year. I'm pretty ashamed of that. The reason I don't come along with my family, when they go to visit her, is that I can't stand hearing the suicidal talk. I can't stand that my grandma says things like that. They might as well could have come from my mouth..? I can't take that.
She told me and my sister not to smoke. My grandma smoked for 60 years and then stopped. She's been cranky ever since xD Gonna continue trying to sleep now.
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Location: Vinderup,Danmark
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