3 good things - Day 2

Someone from my spanish
class wears these ultra
gay shoes. Had to take a
picture of them.

Three good things about today:
..

• I am home.

• I got further with my drawing of Judas.

• I'm gonna clean my room, so it'll be a good thing when it's clean.

That's all for today. As you might have guessed already, it hadn't been such a good day, since I haven't got any better thing to tell you. 

3 good things - Day 1

Three good things about today:

• I'm gonna spend time with Nathalie. She's staying at my place tonight. 

• I brought coffee to school today. It has been lovely to have coffee for most of the day.

• I'm drawing on a tattoo which I think I might want to have done. Think I'm gonna get it in september or october. 

Hunting happiness

I saw a program on DR2 last night, called "The Pessimists". It's about 8 pessimistic people, who has to do different tasks and take courses, in their way to happiness. This week they were  given a task called "a grateful diary". Every day of this week they'll have to write down three things which they are thankful for. My mum and I thought it would be a good idea for me to do it as well, since I'm a huge pessimist, in the search for happiness. So this week I'm gonna blog every day, about three things which I am grateful for.

Oh lord...

Have you ever woken up, then wished you hadn't? That you could just fall asleep and never wake up again? How about waking up, go to the mirror and think: "This is gonna be another sucky day."? ... Yes, I'm having one of those days today. Gonna drive to school now. Cya...

Letter Challenge Day 12

A letter to the person you hate the most / caused you a lot of pain.

Wow.. This is a tough one. The whole 'hate'-thing has been a big part of my life. There have been many many times where I simply just hated everyone. But the deal is that the person I hate the most is myself. But I'm not gonna write a letter to myself. When I was 14 my depression started, and I'm gonna tell the story of what happened back then. I'm gonna paint the scenario that got me into this shit.


When I was 12 I moved to another school. At my new school I got a really really good friend. We had the best friendship, and we were together after school almost every day. I'm gonna call her S. 
We were the best of friends for about two years, and then at the age of 14 we had to move to another school across the street. The new school was for eighth, ninth and tenth grade only. So we were now eighth graders. The classes were mixed from five different schools, but S and I got in the same class. We started hanging out with two other girls and we enjoyed hanging out together all four. As time passed by S started hanging more and more out with one of the girls, lets call her M. The last girl and I was sort of pushed out of the group, but we didn't like each other, so we didn't spend any time together. The problem was not that M and S got a closer friendship. The dilemma was that M hated me. So since M didn't like me, S started to forget about me. Within a few months we didn't spoke to each other anymore.


Every day on my way home from school, I cried my eyes out before I got home. When I got home my mum would ask "how was school?", and I'd answer "fine" or "as usual". I'd go to my room and waste my life away on websites trying to get a social network. 
I became depressed and fell into an eating disorder as well. I wrote poems and songs and cried to all sad music I could find. S only talked to me if we were put in the same group at school. In my head I cursed her and M every day. This scenario started the riot, that made several years of my youth into a living hell. 
Somehow I blame them. But my social skills were as low as possible, and I was unable to make friends or make people like me. So I guess it's my own fault. But still I will always hate them. Because of what they did to me. The worst kind of bullying is the mental kind, and when people pretend you don't exist, you are being bullied mentally. 
So here goes..


Dear S


I hope the rest of your life will be shit. 
The day you end up like your mother, living in a shitty house, having three kids with three different men, and you end up fat and lonely - I am gonna look at you and let my eyes tell you this: "How does it feel to be a social loser and a complete failure?"


Truly
Kiri Rehmeier, the friend you forgot

I know, I know..

Will I ever get over losing you? I know what people think, but that doesn't change how I feel.. Normally I'm pretty fast to get over relationships, but this time it takes longer than ever. Maybe it's because the start wasn't even over before the end. Was it that there was no real ending, but just a goodbye? Maybe because I never wanted it to end.. Why does everything wonderful have to come to an end..?

I gotta admit...

5 confessions

These are a few of my "confessions". Stuff that is me, but I don't tell people really.

- I can't fall for a guy unless he's got that certain wildness in his eyes...
- I always fall for thin guys with blue eyes.
- I have a secret weakness for gingers.
- I can (and will) eat a whole bucket of Ben&Jerry's for myself.
- I fear the winter.

Goals of the month

I got inspired from a post on my friend, Xenia's Blog. She announced that she want's to write down her goals for the month, and I thought that was a really good idea. So I thought I'd do the same. (:

August goals:

- Move the furniture in my room around.
- Have the best Skanderborg Festival ever.
- Get a good start at school.
- Learn how to bake black bread.
- Start on my new job, and do it well.
- Get at least 10 on my written danish/history assignment!
- Get moving with the 30 day letter challenge.

Letter Challenge Day 11

A letter to a deceased person you wish you could talk to.

Dear Lisbeth
It's so unfair.. Your death was tough. You're the mother of my best friend, and you died before the age of 40. You died from cancer. A form of cancer that all young girls are being offered a vaccine against today. I've been vaccinated. So have your daughters.
I'm writing this letter to you, to let you know that you're really missed. Not only by the three children you left behind. Also by your husband and your friends.

My mum and you were dear friends. Your husband has moved on now. About time. It took years for him to get over the loss of his beloved wife, and mother of his children. He's got a girlfriend now. She's a good person, cause she knows and accepted that you were, and always will be the love of his life. She's nice. But now the deal isn't about your husband. It's more about Trine. Your oldest daughter. She really misses you. She has gone through some really tough times, and she has really been in the need of a mother. Last time I got to feel her pain of missing you so bad, was a night where she was sad. Very sad. She cried in my bed while looking at a picture of you. She really needs you at certain points.

I can't imagine going through the tough times of teenage without a mother. My mother has been a very important factor for me while being a fragile teenager. It scares me to think that Trine, my dearest friend had to go through that. But Trine is strong. Very strong. You have to be one hell of a hardass to do that! That's worth honoring.
So Lisbeth.. You've got some tough children. You did good. Really good.

Loving memories
Kiri Rehmeier

Letter Challenge Day 10

A letter to a person you don't talk to as much as you'd like to.

Dear Rebekka

We haven't seen each other in a long time now. We have seen each other and said hello a couple of time, but we haven't really been together for years. When we were kids we used to see each other every weekend. We were best friends for eleven years. Then our contact kind of slipped away.
I continued the contact with your sister Trine, but when I was 15, and you were 13, the age-difference got too hard to ignore I guess. We simply lost stuff to talk about..

I look at you now, and I know that right now we'd have plenty of stuff to talk about. The problem is that we don't. You have other friends now, and so do I. My mum says that it'll come back. She says that real friends just don't disappear. That she and her best friend can go years without talking, but then when they do, it's like they never were apart. I hope that's what'll happen in our case.

I'd like to say that I love you, but I can't. It's been so many years, and it's like I don't know you anymore. I don't know if I love you. I don't know the person you've grown up to be.
But one thing I can say with honesty; I miss you. I miss our friendship, and I miss spending time with you. I hope you're good. I hope you'll get a good start on your education.

Dearest wishes of luck in the future
Kiri Rehmeier