I hate being here. To be honest I'm just here because I can't bare getting kicked out again. As if it wasn't bad enough the first time, I sure as hell won't have to go through it again. I've already had enough no-shows... Guess there's still some anxiety I haven't worked through yet. I feel so stupid all the time when I'm here. As soon as I walk into this building it's like I've been muted. I don't have a voice. I don't know any of the answers, no matter the question asked. I become stupid. Every day I'm here I wish I hadn't showed up. It's painful being the new girl... I don't know anyone, and it scares me. The only good thing about this school is that nobody knows me.
I could make it easier on myself by doing my homework, but honestly.. When I get home from school the first thing I do is throw myself on the bed and tell myself it's okay. That showing up was enough. Why is this so easy for everyone else? I don't think I'm being lazy, cause this is not due to laziness. I'm just tired. I am so god damn tired when I get home. So god damn tired.
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