Letter Challenge Day 12

A letter to the person you hate the most / caused you a lot of pain.

Wow.. This is a tough one. The whole 'hate'-thing has been a big part of my life. There have been many many times where I simply just hated everyone. But the deal is that the person I hate the most is myself. But I'm not gonna write a letter to myself. When I was 14 my depression started, and I'm gonna tell the story of what happened back then. I'm gonna paint the scenario that got me into this shit.


When I was 12 I moved to another school. At my new school I got a really really good friend. We had the best friendship, and we were together after school almost every day. I'm gonna call her S. 
We were the best of friends for about two years, and then at the age of 14 we had to move to another school across the street. The new school was for eighth, ninth and tenth grade only. So we were now eighth graders. The classes were mixed from five different schools, but S and I got in the same class. We started hanging out with two other girls and we enjoyed hanging out together all four. As time passed by S started hanging more and more out with one of the girls, lets call her M. The last girl and I was sort of pushed out of the group, but we didn't like each other, so we didn't spend any time together. The problem was not that M and S got a closer friendship. The dilemma was that M hated me. So since M didn't like me, S started to forget about me. Within a few months we didn't spoke to each other anymore.


Every day on my way home from school, I cried my eyes out before I got home. When I got home my mum would ask "how was school?", and I'd answer "fine" or "as usual". I'd go to my room and waste my life away on websites trying to get a social network. 
I became depressed and fell into an eating disorder as well. I wrote poems and songs and cried to all sad music I could find. S only talked to me if we were put in the same group at school. In my head I cursed her and M every day. This scenario started the riot, that made several years of my youth into a living hell. 
Somehow I blame them. But my social skills were as low as possible, and I was unable to make friends or make people like me. So I guess it's my own fault. But still I will always hate them. Because of what they did to me. The worst kind of bullying is the mental kind, and when people pretend you don't exist, you are being bullied mentally. 
So here goes..


Dear S


I hope the rest of your life will be shit. 
The day you end up like your mother, living in a shitty house, having three kids with three different men, and you end up fat and lonely - I am gonna look at you and let my eyes tell you this: "How does it feel to be a social loser and a complete failure?"


Truly
Kiri Rehmeier, the friend you forgot