I'd like to dedicate this blog to a very special guy in my life. His name is Danni. He's me boyfriend. For the once that doesn't know him, i feel sorry. He is such an amazing guy, and I don't know what would have happened to me if I had never met him. We've known each other for a long time, and we've been dating for 10 months now. I have shared some of the greatest moments of my life with him, and he has made me so happy. I've been down a big black hole for very long now, but I know for sure, that he can always pull me up, and make me feel better no matter what. I don't know how to thank this guy. He practically saved my life.. I guess you can put it like that. If it hadn't been for him, I'm not sure, that I'd be sitting here today. I'm so glad that he came into my life. That he didn't ran away, when I told him all of my evil secrets. He was the first one I told. Today I have no problem saying it again to other people, but back then, it was really hard. Things had gone too far, but he supported me. He was always there for me, though I was all alone. When everybody else turned me their backs, he was still there with me. No matter where in the world I am, he is always with me in my thoughts. Every second we're not together, I miss him. But since we can't be together all the time, of course I can survive without him. For a while. Every night when I go to sleep, I picture him, lying right behind me. It makes me feel safe. I really fear being alone. It's like, I get anxious whenever I have to sleep alone. But when I'm with Danni, I feel safe. He makes me feel like nothing bad in the world can come near me. I've told him a million times, how wonderful I think he is, and how much I love him. I don't want him to forget it, though I know, that if I didn't told him as often, he wouldn't mind. But I love saying it. It's a feeling that I feel like, i can't express enough. I just wanna say it all the time over and over, until it makes no sense. I wanna stand on top of a mountain and yell it out to the world. I want the whole world to know that I love him. That he's mine. The feeling Danni gives me inside, I can't describe. It's such a wonderful feeling. He makes me wanna be a better person. When I'm with him, it's like my problems can't come near me. It's like there is a distance between me and the problems, while I'm with him. I can breath and be myself. I'm not a prisoner in my own body. That's how I feel when I'm alone. Most of the time. He gives me space to breath, to relax. It's a little like.. Alcohol or drugs? When you're on them, you're problems disappear, and everything is just fine. But then when the effect stops, you come back to the real world. But with Danni, there is a slight different. When I'm high, I'm still in the real world. It's like a dreamworld, but it's real. There's nothing fake about it.
I've done a lot of wrong things in my life. I've done a lot of things that I regret. But when I'm with Danni, it's like.. It's okay. I'm a good person, though I've made my mistakes. Of course Danni is not perfect, but I don't care. Though he has made some mistakes, it doesn't matter to me at all. I love him no matter what. Nobody's perfect, but sometimes I feel bad, because I'm not, and I feel like he deserves a perfect girlfriend. But of course he says the right words to make me loose that thought. He makes me feel.. good. About myself. About us. About my thoughts. Who I am today. Love. Life....
I owe him everything. Or so I feel. He's the reason why I don't give up. He's the reason I'm fighting to get a real life again. He's the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. I would never have got this far, if it hadn't been for him. Thanks.. For everything you done for me. Everything you've said. I love you honey.